Sometimes, the BEST things for us in life are the HARDEST to do, and cause us discomfort and pain while we do them, but we NEED to do them regardless. Since September, I have been focusing on my physical and emotional health and I have to say that focusing on these two aspects of my life have been so difficult, yet the results have been INCREDIBLE!
I have never been a workout person, and even now, it takes me a tremendous amount of effort to workout at home or attend a fitness class. I know for some people, exercising gives them so much energy, but for me, it makes me tired afterwards to the point where I need a nap, and OMG is my body ever sore after a good workout! I know that with time my body will adjust and maybe I won’t feel so tired and sore anymore, but that day hasn’t come yet.
Attending a fitness class also leaves me with less time to complete my mom duties, I feel so rushed that day! Sometimes, my fitness classes are around my two year old’s nap time, so that means he will miss his nap the day I go to a class, which ruins the rest of the day for all of us. If you’re a parent you know the harsh results of your little one missing a nap- it’s a nightmare! I mean, I’m talking about more than the usual amount of tantrums for the rest of the day, and the worst case scenario is when my toddler falls asleep at 5pm and then stays up all night!
With all that said, I still attend the fitness classes whenever I can and still try to workout at home and practise the exercises that my physical therapist showed me. My main concerns with my body are my diastasis recti and my back, and I know that these two issues will only get better if I take action. So, no matter how much of a challenge it is, I’m going to do the exercises one way or the other!
Emotionally, I have been trying to figure out my anxiety triggers, and as a result, my mind can’t stop thinking of my past childhood trauma. It’s been mentally draining for me to have flashbacks of my past, as it’s something I want to forget about and just move on from. But, I can’t. I mean, why now? Why, all of the sudden is my mind redirecting me to my past and why am I doing this to myself? Because I need to. It’s as simple as that. The truth is that I need to work on recovering from my trauma instead of trying to live with it and carry around my pain where ever I go in life. So, even though it’s a painful process, I’m going to do it; I’m going to work on becoming an emotionally stronger person!
A major step I have taken is reaching out to others and talking about my pain. This has been the most hardest thing to do (yes, even more difficult than working out!) and has taken me so much courage! I was never the person to freely and openly discuss even my day to day emotions, much less my painful memories. When you start to even think about your past, the pain resurfaces and you automatically begin to relive those agonizing moments, which sucks big time. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a good thing, that talking about it will make me feel better, and truly, it really does!
For years, I lived with extreme anxiety, which left me unable to communicate to even those I saw on a daily basis. It took me so long to become the person I’am today, but at the same time, I have a lot of work to do in order for me to be my strongest. But, I’m ready for this journey towards healing to start!
Tip- Something that has been helping me with stress and getting out my anger (that exists because of my past) is working out! I recently started using the medicine ball at the gym and OMG it feels so good to slam that ball hard, it’s like I’m slamming all that pain, stress, and anger away! I guess it’s a win win when you are able to work on your physical and emotional health at the same time!