How do mothers enjoy the blessings of Ramadan while taking care of their children? This is the question I often get asked as a mother of four, and below I’m sharing my tips that have helped me since becoming a mother almost a decade ago!
The Muslimah Mommy’s Tips for Mothers During Ramadan:
As Muslimah mothers who lead busy lives, it can be difficult to take care of our children and to fulfill all of our Islamic duties; however, although it can be challenging, it is certainly is not impossible.
What makes it possible to fulfill all of our duties is the assistance from the one and only Allah (Subḥānahu Wa Ta’Ala), for it is Allah (Subḥānahu Wa Ta’Ala) that gives us mothers sabr (patience). So, make Du’a- sincere Du’a that the Almighty gives you sabr and strength, and that He helps you through challenging times.
“And Your Lord said: Call on Me, I will answer you” Quran 40:60
“Remember Me, and I will remember you, give thanks to Me, and reject Me not” Quran 2:152
SET REALISTIC GOALS:
We have to keep in mind that we are living different lives from one another, under different circumstances. Some of us may be mothers working full or part-time outside of the home, while some of us are stay at home mothers taking care of young children, or children with special needs. The number of children we have and their ages vary, as does how much help we have from family and friends. For these very reasons, it is important to never compare yourself with others.
When I say we should never compare ourselves to others, I mean in every aspect; including our ibadah during Ramadan. For instance, just because you hear of a sister’s goal to complete the Quran twice during Ramadan, this doesn’t mean that you now have to do the same. Of course, doing so would benefit you and you will get rewarded immensely, however you have to consider your personal situation. Perhaps this sister has older children, or has extra help to take care of the household, while you may have young children with little, or no help at all.
Setting unrealistic goals means you are setting yourself up for failure. If you try to complete the Quran twice with three small children who are in constant need of your attention, it may or may not happen. Perhaps you will start reading the first few chapters, and then give up altogether; thus leaving you unmotivated to complete even half of one Quran during Ramadan. However, if you make a list of attainable Islamic goals that you know you can reach, you will complete this list, in sha Allah, and you will feel motivated to keep going!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your older children, or your husband to help prepare Iftar, and to help out with the household chores throughout the day. If your mother, sisters, or friends are going through that time of month where they are unable to keep a fast for a week, then consider leaving your children with them for a few hours a day during that week, so that you can read some Quran continuously without any interruption. Likewise, ask these family members and friends to come over during the time of Taraweeh, so that they can supervise the children while you pray in peace.
WHAT TO RECITE THROUGHOUT THE DAY:
Keep a journal with beneficial Du’as written in it and recite these Du’as throughout the day. Not only is reciting Du’as gaining you reward, but doing so also doesn’t take up much of your time! Consider reciting the following:
Surah Ikhlaas – Reading Surah Ikhlas is equivalent to reading one third of the Quran- “Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: A man heard another man reciting (Surat-Al-Ikhlas) ‘Say He is Allah, (the) One.’ (112. 1) repeatedly. The next morning he came to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and informed him about it as if he thought that it was not enough to recite. On that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “By Him in Whose Hand my life is, this Surah is equal to one-third of the Qur’an!”” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5013, Book 66, Hadith 35)
“Qul huwallahu ahad Allahus samad Lam yalid wa lam yuulad Wa lamyakun lahuuu kufuwan ahad”
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Say: He is Allah, the One. He is Allah, the Eternal, Who was never born, nor ever gave birth. The One beyond compare.
Subhan’Allah wa biHamdihi (Glory be to Allah and I Praise Him)-
Whoever says (the above) a hundred times during the day, his sins are wiped away, even if they are like the foam of the sea [Sahih al-Bukhari; 7:168, Muslim; 4:2071]
SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi SubhanAllahil adheem (Glory be to Allah, and Praise, Glory be to Allah, the Supreme)-
Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “Two words are light on the tongue, weigh heavily in the balance, they are loved by the Most Merciful One”
[Sahih al-Bukhari; 7:67, Muslim; 4:2071]
THE IMPORTANCE OF DHIKR:
Dhikr ( the remembrance of Allah Subḥānahu Wa Ta’Ala ) has so many benefits, therefore we should try to do as much Dhikr as we can throughout the month of Ramadan – don’t forget, rewards are multiplied by 70 during this month!
To all the mothers out there, if you feel like you have no energy left for Taraweeh prayer after a long day of fasting and taking care of the household, please recite “SubhanAllah” 33 times, “Alhamdulillah” 33 times, and “Allahu Akbar” 34 times; In shaa Allah this will give you the energy boost you need-
It is that reported in the Hadith of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (Radi Allahu Anhu) who said that Fatimah (Radi Allahu Anha) came to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and asked him for a servant. He said, “Shall I not tell you of something that is better for you than that? When you go to sleep, say ‘Subhan’Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Allhumdulillah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu Akbar’ thirty four times.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3113, Book 57, Hadith 22)
In sha Allah, I hope these tips will be of benefit to all mothers out there; always keep in mind that Allah (Subḥānahu Wa Ta’Ala) knows our intentions, He knows our situation, and He knows we are putting forth our full effort; and He will continue to shower His blessings upon us if we ask him to.
May you all have a peaceful Ramadan and may Allah (Subḥānahu Wa Ta’Ala) grant all mothers sabr, Ameen.